Mommy, Why Does My Teddy Have Too Many Legs?
by Sobo
Summary: If you must know, when I was three, Fred turned my--my teddy into a great filthy spider because I broke his toy broomstick... ~Ron CoS
1. Introduction

Mommy, Why does My Teddy Have Too Many Legs? Genre: Humor  
  
Rating: PG (for language and possible scary moments)  
  
Characters: Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger-Weasley, and Catlin Weasley (daughter)  
  
Time: Six years after Hogwarts graduation; around late 2002 to early 2003  
  
Chapter: One; Introduction  
  
Disclaimer: its all JK's characters, I just put them in plots she would have never thought of.  
  
".You wouldn't like them either if you'd been holding you bear and suddenly it had too many legs."  
  
These words echoed through Ron's head for some reason. He was a twenty-three-years-old redhead, fully qualified wizard, and one of the defeaters of the most the evil sorcerer of his time, Lord Voldemort. The name still sent chills down his spine, but at least he could say it. He had done many great things before he even graduated Hogwarts. He, along with future wife, Hermione helped Harry retrieve the Sorcerer's Stone in his first year, escape from Tom Riddle in his second year, his overcoming of Voldemort in his seventh year, and, worst of all, survived seven years with Snape as their teacher. Even though he went through all of this, there was still thing that made him cringe when he thought about it: spiders.  
  
*********************  
  
Ron had just got done with his third helping of Hermione's delicious chicken casserole. It was late and he just got home from the Ministry of Magic. He was an Auror, and a damn good one at that! People said that he was as good as Mad-Eye Moody, if not better.  
  
Hermione, Ron's beautiful wife for four years, was sitting on the couch reading the Evening Prophet. Every once in a while she'd mutter such things as "I can't believe they would do that!" or " Who'd do such a thing?" Hermione was the Arithmacy teacher at Hogwarts. Ron never got into a conversation with her about her work because he had no idea what she what talking about.  
  
Just before Ron got started with his fourth helping of the casserole, his four-year-old daughter ran in. "Daddy. Daddy! DADDY!!" She jumped into his lap. She had Ron's red hair and freckles, but inherited Hermione's brown eyes and (Thank goodness, Ron thought) small, straight nose.  
  
"Yes dear," Ron said a bit winded by the surprise leap. The looked down at her and noticed she was shaking badly. "Catlin, what's wrong?"  
  
A/N: Don't you just hate me for leaving you at climax points? Muwahahahahahaha..... I'm just evil. If you like just review me. And if you don't like it review me anyway. Tell me what I need to change so I can" intellectually" (I can use big words) grow as a writer. 


	2. Spiders, Poopyheads, Dung Bombs, and Per...

Mommy, Why does My Teddy Have Too Many Legs?  
  
Genre: Humor  
  
Rating: PG (for language and possible scary moments)  
  
Characters: Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger-Weasley, and Catlin Weasley (daughter), George Weasley, Fred Weasley, Percy Weasley, and Mrs. Weasley  
  
Time: Six years after Hogwarts graduation; around late 2002 to early 2003; sometime in 1983  
  
Chapter: Two; Spiders, Poopy-heads, Dung Bombs, and. . .Percy?  
  
Disclaimer: Catlin is my character, but ickle Ronnikins (damn), 'Mione (oh well), and the rest of the characters are JKR's.  
  
A/N: I know the last chapter was short, but it was just the intro. . . I promise it will be longer and better and if you have any good ideas to add email; my address is on my bio. . . thanx for reviewing and I hope y'all enjoy this chapter. . . and plz keep reviewing  
  
The toddler looked as pale as Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor House ghost.  
  
Hermione almost ran over to her daughter. "Catlin, are you alright? Is everything alright" she said looking almost as white as Catlin.  
  
"No, I not awight." She said desperately, "I saw a- a- A SPIDER!!!!!"  
  
"Err- Hermione, dear" Ron said nervously while going green, "could you take care of that."  
  
Hermione walked out of the room heading toward Catlin's bedroom murmuring "Yep, she definitely yours."  
  
Ron chose to ignore this comment.  
  
"Um- Daddy? Am I a -um- poopy-head for being ascared of spiders?"  
  
"No, honey, where would you get an idea like that?"  
  
"Cause Michael said I was a poopy-head for being ascared of spiders." She was referring to Fred and Angelina's five-year-old son.  
  
"Well," said Ron, "he's a booger-eater for calling you a poopy-head." She giggled. "And," Ron continued, "don't ever feel bad because you afraid of something. Daddy's scared of spiders too."  
  
"You are?!?" the four-year-old said in awe. "But I tought you weren't ascared of nofing."  
  
"Well, really it was Uncle Fred who made me afraid of them."  
  
"Then Uncle Frwed is a poopy-head." She giggled again.  
  
"It all started when Daddy was a little younger than you, three years old, I think. . ."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A seven year old walked down the stairs. He had horn rimmed glasses, perfectly combed hair, and piece of paper with the letter 'P' for prefect pinned on his sweater. Percy looked furious. "Fred! George! I know it was you who put a Dung Bomb in my underwear drawer! I'll curse you if you do it again!"  
  
The twins were giggling mischievously in the nook under the stairs. "He has no prwoof it was us" said George while his brother was still laughing madly.  
  
"No he doesn't, but guess who does?!" said Mrs. Weasley looking like a raptor.  
  
They both stopped laughing in a heartbeat. "Err-hello Mummy." Fred said trying not to look too guilty.  
  
"You look very prwetty Mummy." George said cowering his mother's wrath.  
  
"Save it! Go up to you room. . . NOW!! And be quiet! I just got Ginny to--" Before she could finish the sentence, there was a loud wail two floors up that told her Ginny was awake. But before she could finish yelling at George and Fred they ran like twin blurs up the stairs. "Oh no" she moaned.  
  
Percy laughed smugly at his brothers until "What are you laughing at young man!" Mrs. Weasley asked. "You were the one who probably woke her up. Now go up and check what's wrong with her. I've got to finish making dinner before your father gets home."  
  
A/N: I know it's kind of boring now, but I promise you it will get better. Sorry it's still so short, but it's better than the first chapter. Now please review or "I'll curse you. . ." Just kidding! But plz review!! 


	3. Author's Note and Needs Help

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
  
HEY EVERYONE! SORRY, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO WRITE FOR A WHILE. I'LL BE @ MEDICAL CAMP FOR A MONTH ON AND OFF. I'LL BE BACK ON FRIDAY. BUT I'M HAVING COMPLETE WRITER'S BLOCK BECAUSE OF CAMP. SO IF ANY OF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS PLEASE EMAIL IT TO ME AND I'LL BE SURE TO GIVE YOU CREDIT FOR IT. BUT I NEED YOU HELP! HERE'S MY EMAIL ADDRESS: lil_sobo_2004@yahoo.com. I'LL CHECK MY EMAIL ON FRIDAY. I WON'T BE ABLE TO USE EVERYONE'S IDEAS, BUT I'LL USE THE BEST ONES!  
  
LOVE Y'ALL LOTS AND THANKS, ~SOBO 


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